


Baby, That's What Makes Us

by Pennstram



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: (very briefly) - Freeform, Aftercare, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Autoerotic Asphyxiation, Bottom Merlin (Merlin), Breathplay, Come Marking, Consensual But Not Safe Or Sane, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub Undertones, Extremely Dubious Consent, Frottage, Knifeplay, M/M, Merlin's a little shit, Object Insertion, Painplay, Possessive Behavior, Praise Kink, Sadomasochism, Sub Merlin (Merlin), Top Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), like seriously- these boys need to talk shit through, slight bloodplay, under negotiated kinks, unsafe bdsm practices, very little plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:20:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27036334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pennstram/pseuds/Pennstram
Summary: “Oh yes,” Merlin hissed into the stone wall, the sound making heat pool in Arthur’s belly, “just go ahead and take it all out on me.” It was a humorless jest. Nothing more than an empty thought.Except Arthur couldn’t stop thinking about it.In which Arthur learns a few things about himself and his manservant, and they pointedly don't talk about it.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 382
Collections: Tavern Quest 1: Merlin Frottage Fest





	Baby, That's What Makes Us

**Author's Note:**

> I have no excuse for this. Like... it started as going to be something for whumptober and then Merlin turned into a little shit. Not really Whump if the character enjoys it... so it turned into a frottagefest fic. |D
> 
> NOTE: Though the dubious consent is very brief it can be seen as non-con, and in a way was intended to be read as such. Please be advised. 
> 
> Inspired by the song Good in Bed by Dua Lipa but it veered heavily away from it for the most part.

It started out, like everything else between them, as a joke. A misplaced ribbing and thoughtless taunting. Arthur had been once again dealing with his father’s crass displeasure and snide comments and he was sick of it. Of being belittled at every turn, and here was Merlin. 

Snarky, unapologetically bold, _disrespectful_ Merlin. Pattering around his chambers as if he owned the place. Spouting off nonsense like the Prince cared… he usually did, don’t get him wrong, but he just wasn’t in the mood. Arthur slammed the door as he entered, completely ignoring Merlin’s displeased frown at being interrupted. “Well good evening to you too. I take it your meal with the King went swimmingly?”

A boot was thrown and Merlin ducked just in time for it to narrowly avoid colliding with his head. Merlin pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest. The sight so disgustingly domestic that Arthur had to turn away as his cheeks burned. “You’re not even going to look at me now? What happened? Did he insult your abilities again?” 

Like a thread pulled too tight, Arthur snapped. Spinning around he grabbed Merlin’s hand and twisted his arm painfully behind his back. The slight gasp the other let out only fueled the fire as the Prince shoved him against the wall with a low growl. Merlin grimaced when his cheek was pressed into the cold stone and Arthur shifted his hold to grip his slender wrists tighter. 

“Oh yes,” Merlin hissed into the stone wall, the sound making heat pool in Arthur’s belly, “just go ahead and take it all out on me.” It was a humorless jest. Nothing more than an empty thought. 

Except Arthur couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

That night his irritation and anger at his father bubbled over into thoughts of Merlin. Merlin pressed against the wall, arms bound behind his back and panting heavily. Merlin on his knees, eyes defiant even as he’s gagged with his own neckerchief. Merlin pushed over his table, welts criss crossing his naked back and thighs as he begs. For what Arthur isn’t sure, but he wakes the next morning sticky with sweat beading his forehead. 

Arthur’s staring at the bedspread trying to make sense of the thoughts still echoing in his mind when Merlin bursts in. A tray of food balanced on his arm as the other lofts a metal pitcher. He was about to roll his eyes and start up their usual banter when a flash of purple caught his eye. Merlin’s sleeve had shifted just enough to show his normally pale wrist, today however, the skin had a light bruise circling it. 

Purple and perfectly lovely against the rest of his creamy skin. The burning from yesterday returned with a vengeance as Arthur realized he had to have been the one to cause it. A slight throat clearing startled him back to the present, the sound seemed almost choked. When he looked up and met Merlin’s gaze he understood why. The servant was shifting slightly where he stood. Clearly uncomfortable with the close scrutiny but making an effort to keep the mark visible. 

Oh… well that was interesting. An almost predatory small crossed Arthur’s features and Merlin flushed, his ears burning bright red. Neither mentioned it or said anything about what had transpired the previous night. Still, the mark remained unashamedly unhidden as Merlin went about his tasks.  
——

“Who the hell does he think he is?” Arthur raged the second his chamber doors closed. He threw his helmet away toward the corner and continued to yank pieces of armor off. Merlin scowled with every clank when they hit the floor. “He may be a senior knight but I’m the crowned Prince! He can’t defy me so openly like that!”

Merlin picked up a vambrace with a slightly thoughtful expression but said nothing. This only seemed to anger Arthur more as he spun on his heel and kicked the other across the room. Merlin let out a long sigh and plastered a condescending smile on his face, “Must you take it out on your armor? I just fixed the dents yesterday. I don’t need anymore put on them.” 

Really there was nothing to it at that point. Arthur spoke without thinking, but the reaction still wasn’t quite what he thought it would be. “Oh I’m sorry, _Mer_ lin, would you rather I put the dents on you?” Merlin flushed, color burning from his ears to his cheeks and down his neck. His mouth parted slightly and his eyes widened as the vambrace he was holding dropped to the floor. His mouth snapped shut in the next second and his gaze was dropped to the metal at his feet. 

Embarrassment, tinged with something Arthur couldn’t quite name lingered on his face. That was until Merlin glanced up through his lashes shyly, eyes impossibly dark. A curling grin slowly appeared as Arthur let the implications sink in. 

“Oh.” It was all he could bring himself to say as Merlin unconsciously gripped the wrist that had once been so beautifully marked by the Prince. Then, voice pitching lower, “Oh, you do. Don’t you.” Not a question, they both knew the answer anyway. 

A slightly quirked eyebrow, a taunting slow smile and a barely there tilt of his head. When Merlin spoke his voice was low, his breathing already heavy, “Go on. Take it out on me.” 

The gasped out and indulgent _yes_ as Merlin’s back hit the wall was enough for Arthur to groan and bury his teeth in the soft skin behind his ear.  
——

They never talk about it after. They never mention the marks, the bruises hidden from public eye. The ones made with teeth and nails and whips. They never explain the ones in full view. The ones encasing slender wrists from cuffs and ropes. The ones Arthur purposely makes with hands and belts just high enough on Merlin’s neck his neckerchief can’t cover. The ones that get Merlin off fastest as he gasps for air. 

They don’t mention it now either, with Arthur’s anger at his father bleeding out into the tight hold he has on the red fabric. Merlin gasping for air as he desperately shoves back against Arthur plastered down his back. The Prince’s other hand digging into the skin of Merlin’s hip hard enough for the nails to cause redpurple crescent welts. 

Arthur digs his nails in harder and yanks them back to curl around Merlin’s side. The cry emitted was worth the risk of being caught like this in the armory. Worth the risk of someone finding the Crown Prince fucking his manservant against the weapons rack. Arthur bit down on the back of his neck and shoved in again hard as he came and Merlin whined under him. Over sensitive and floating just out of reach. 

Arthur let the fabric around his neck go to slip his hand sensually around to the front of Merlin’s throat. Merlin was at his most beautiful like this. Fucked out and delusional as the oxygen came rushing back. Dark red bruises sucked onto his neck and shoulders and spine just starting to purple his skin.

Eyes meeting in their reflection on a sword Arthur’s lips curled back in an indulgent smirk. He let his nails drag against Merlin’s Adam’s apple and hid his smile in the nape of his neck at the full body shudder.  
——

“There something you want to talk about?” Merlin asked slowly, hands fiddling with the edge of the curtain. Beside him Arthur made a noncommittal noise, not once turning away from the window. Merlin’s frown deepened, “Arthur, I know what your father said was harsh but you can’t listen to him. He doesn’t know you, not really.”

“Careful, Merlin, that’s sounding an awful lot like treason.” Though in truth, Arthur had to admit his servant was right. He shouldn’t take the words to heart. Shouldn’t, but he did. According to his father, he lacks control. Control. Ha. The notion would be laughable if only his father could see just how much control his son had. 

“And what is it he doesn’t know about me? He knows I can command armies, knights and citizens alike. He knows I run patrols and hunts. He knows damn well I demand respect in court. So what is it he doesn’t know? How does he not see past my small slip ups? What doesn’t he see? Hmm, pet?” He could feel the shift in the air almost instantly. He knew Merlin was holding his breath without ever looking over at the man. 

Turning on his heel Arthur stalked back over to the soft chair by the hearth and sat back. With his legs splayed he drummed his fingers on the wood. “He couldn’t possibly know how I can make someone who refuses to kneel to anyone fall to his knees. Couldn’t possibly know how beautifully that snarky mouth of yours can beg. He could never know the sound of your breath in my hands.” 

As he spoke Merlin slowly migrated over, reading the want he wasn’t saying in his master’s eyes. Once he was standing before him Arthur smiled leisurely and reached one hand out to run down Merlin’s stomach. “But that’s not the control he speaks of, is it. He’ll never know the control I’ve mastered over you.” He pointedly looked at his lap then back at Merlin. 

Message clear Merlin gulped and moved forward to straddle the Prince’s legs. Instantly hands came to settle on his hips as Arthur smirked up at him. “Even now, you obey without hesitation.” The dark haired man pursed his lips but draped his arms around Arthur’s neck anyway. He didn’t verbally reply, but then again, Arthur hadn’t verbally asked. Instead he merely rolled his hips forward teasingly, smile slipping through his irritation at Arthur’s groan. 

One hand trailed around to press against the small of Merlin’s back urging him to continue his movements even as the other slipped under his shirt and up his chest. Nails scraped against his nipple and a whine was choked out. His hips jerked forward, seeking relief against Arthur’s own arousal. Arthur dug his nails into the soft skin of Merlin’s belly in warning. Knowing the red marks would last through the night. 

Merlin sucked in a breath at that and attempted to pull away only to be stopped by Arthur’s other hand bunching his shirt at his back. The one on his stomach moved to rest against his groin, pressing just hard enough for pleasure to melt into pain. “I’m going to let you continue, but if you come before I say you can, we stop. We stop and I will not touch you again. Do you understand me?” Merlin jerked his head in a desperate nod. 

“Good.” With that he untied the laces of his trousers, but made no move for Merlin’s. “Go on then.” The other groaned at that and dropped his forehead to Arthur’s shoulder before he started rocking against him again. Each roll forward pulling a soft breath out only for Arthur to steal it away again as his hand buried in Merlin's hair. Each movement made Arthur’s grip tighten. Pinpricks of painful pleasure erupted over Merlin’s body as his rutting picked up speed. 

Arthur yanked his head back and pressed open mouthed kisses down the newly bared expanse of pale skin. Hot and wet and with too much teeth scraping along leaving goosebumps in their wake. It was just on the side of too much. Then a hand was on his cock. Squeezing the base and a low growl was pressed to his ear, “I told you. Not to fucking come. Until I say so.” Merlin whined his head tilting back further, though Arthur’s hand had moved to grip the back of his neck instead.

“Sire, sire please I— I need—”

“No, pet, I think you can hold out a little bit longer.” Another long whine but yet he still obeyed. “That’s a good boy. See how perfect you are for me? So very perfect.” He let his hand slip from Merlin’s neck down his back to rest on his arse. Pulling him closer Arthur let out a low moan. “Gonna make me come, just like this. With you obediently writhing in my lap. Begging for me like a bitch in heat.” Merlin shuddered and gripped Arthur’s shoulders where his arms had started to slip. 

Arthur slipped a hand in his trousers to pull himself out with a groan. Just because he planned on making Merlin come in his pants like a teenager didn’t mean he was going to. Plus the feel of Merlin’s rough breaches sliding against his bare skin on each roll forward was too good to pass up. The hand on Merlin’s arse shoved him forward and Arthur tipped his head back as he thrust up at the same moment. 

Merlin cried out and jerked against him, the smooth roll of his hips interrupted by the sudden strength holding him still. Arthur continued to thrust up as he forcibly moved Merlin’s hips into a slow grind. Arthur came a few strokes later, painting Merlin’s stomach a sticky mess. The Prince smiled ruefully as Merlin’s mouth fell open, bottom lip trembling just slightly. His movements were stilted and jerky and Arthur knew he was struggling. 

Leaning forward he grabbed Merlin’s right earlobe between his teeth and just breathed. The man jumped and arched his back, desperate to let go. “Such a good boy. Come for me, Merlin.” 

And like everything else Arthur told him to do, he did.  
——

The week Uther invited a neighboring princess in hopes of persuading Arthur into marrying, was the week Merlin learned just how brutal his Prince could get. How much he’d been holding back. 

Sprawled out on the giant bed Merlin tried desperately to catch his breath. His head was spinning, his body ached and he was vaguely aware of the blood trickling down the inside of his thigh. Arthur paced the room, frown on his face as he stared at the small blade still in his hands. 

This wasn’t something they’d done before. It was never brought up or talked about. Arthur hadn’t been sure Merlin would be okay with it, and Merlin didn’t think Arthur could mentally handle it. But then Uther said Arthur would never be man enough to take a wife. That he needed to grow a pair and stop being so weak. 

In his anger Arthur threw Merlin across his table and fucked him dry. Growling low in his ear that no one else would be able to give this to Merlin. To hurt him like he needs. No one else would ever be man enough. His father’s own words spoke in mockery as Merlin whined for more. For harder and faster.

In his anger Arthur bit his shoulder hard enough to break skin. The sight of the blood dripping down the pale back made his own blood burn. Yanking Merlin up from the table by the neckerchief still around his neck, Arthur had shoved him toward the bed. He picked up a small dagger from the side table and with a steady voice murmured, “Tell me to stop.” Merlin met his gaze briefly before slipping down to the knife held reverently in Arthur’s hands, “Tell me to stop and I will.” 

Merlin had swallowed and his tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip, eyes dark and wide and wanting. Laying back on the pillows he spread his limbs out invitingly. Slightly stiff and abused from his treatment against the table he still arched his back just so at the stretch. Arthur could see the light shadows where marks would show so wonderfully the next day. Unwavering eyes locked on Arthur’s as his breathing sped up and he whispered not unlike the very first time, “Come take it out on me.” 

The first cut trailed down the outside of Merlin’s thigh. Just light enough that it left a long thin red line, but drew no blood. The second a mirror image on the other side. Merlin was panting and trembling and Arthur grinned predatorily as he wrapped the hand not wielding the knife around his friend’s straining cock. 

Merlin cried out in desperation as Arthur’s grip tightened painfully, holding off the man's orgasim. “Ah ah ah. We’ve been over this before. You come when I let you.” The third cut was made across Merlin’s soft belly. Pressed down just enough that small red beads welled up along it. Tears were slipping unnoticed down his burning cheeks as he tried to catch his breath. 

It was a mistake when Merlin glanced down where Arthur had stopped moving. The Prince had a twisted smirk and the knife was pressed up against the underside of his cock. Merlin’s eyes grew wide and he looked about ready to protest. Before he could though Arthur grabbed his discarded neckerchief and shoved it in his mouth. He paused, eyes watching Merlin’s closely, waiting for any sign he’d overstepped.

No protests came. No real fear in his eyes. The flat edge of the knife drew up against the soft flesh and Merlin’s body jerked back, eyes screwed shut. Arthur grinned and raked his nails down the cut along Merlin’s left thigh as he drew the point back up the side of his cock. The cry muffled by the thick fabric made a shudder run down Arthur’s spine. The sharp blade moved down the other side. 

“What do you want, Merlin?” Merlin was visibly shaking now, his eyes still defiantly shut as he gripped the bedspread. Arthur narrowed his eyes at that and he shifted the knife point to rest in the space between Merlin’s thigh and his cock. “Tell me, pet.” Bright red was welling up around the metal point when Merlin gasped through his makeshift gag and his eyes flew open. Arthur drug his left hand up Merlin’s body, nails leaving white lines in their wake. He moved the neckerchief far enough for the other to speak. 

“I want you to hurt me.” Merlin groaned out, voice pitching halfway through it. Another predatory smile from Arthur, then a sharp burning sensation as the knife was pressed deep and dragged along the soft skin of Merlin’s inner thigh. The gag was replaced as the Prince pressed his lips against Merlin’s ear. 

“That’s a good boy.” 

Arthur wasn’t sure which color he preferred on his friend’s body, the beautiful purple bruises wrapped around elegant limbs or the vibrant red blood dripping along his sharp curves. He wrapped his hand tighter around the handle of the blade and glanced over at Merlin. The thin red lines covering his body. The blood glistening in the firelight as it seeped from the deeper cuts on the insides of his thighs. Those cuts that Merlin had begged to be deeper. 

A soft inquisitive sound grabbed his attention as he realised Merlin was watching him back now. His blue eyes are impossibly wide and clear and bright. The way they usually were after they did something like this. “Are you alright?” He whispered finally, setting the knife down on the table and moving over to sit on the edge of the bed. The fingers of his left hand trailed over the cut closest, smearing the blood over pale skin. Merlin remained silent until Arthur finally looked up at him again. 

The love shining in Merlin’s gaze was enough to make his breath catch. “I’m fine, Arthur.” Then with a small smirk and a glint in his eye, “Should send Princess Anna a fruit basket.” Arthur snorted but couldn’t deny it.  
——

The night a visiting Lord laid a hand on Merlin during a feast, Arthur tied him to the four poster frame. He took his time sucking marks into every unblemished bit of skin. He took his time scratching his name on Merlin’s thighs and back. 

Once he was sufficiently marked Arthur pulled the ties free, letting Merlin sag to the bed. Running teasing hands down his sides, Arthur pressed his thighs together. “Keep them like that.” His name stood out in angry red against the alabaster skin and his stomach coiled tight. His. Merlin was his. No one else’s to look at. To touch or fuck. And maybe it was getting a little out of hand but then again, Merlin never protested either.

His nails made thin lines as they traveled back up Merlin’s body when he moved to sit on the back of his legs. He could feel Merlin squirm underneath him slightly but the other man didn’t move to push him away. Instead he turned his head just enough to look over his shoulder and Arthur couldn’t help the possessive growl that slipped out. Merlin’s bright red mouth was parted just so, his eyes dark and clouded.

Undoubtedly and irrevocably, his. The thought made Arthur’s anger flare with a new vengeance. Lord Aldevin touched him. Lord Aldevin suggested he warm his bed. Arthur shifted forward enough to let his cock slip between Merlin’s legs. Letting it rub against Merlin’s own cock and balls as he ground against him. It wouldn’t be a drawn out affair tonight. Arthur knew that, and Merlin knew that as he panted into the pillows. 

“How dare he.” Arthur growled, fingernails digging into the skin of Merlin’s shoulder blades. The hold keeping the servant pressed firmly into the mattress as Arthur rutted against him. So close as he worked his cock between Merlin’s clenched thighs but never entering him. No, that wasn’t what the Prince wanted. Not tonight. 

“How dare he touch what is not his. How dare he touch what’s _mine_.” His right hand slid from where it was holding Merlin’s arm above his head at his forearm to grip his wrist. He bit down on Merlin’s neck the second his hand slipped from Merlin’s wrist to tangle their fingers together. The moan Merlin let out at the sudden intimacy of it made Arthur growl out, “You’re mine, pet. All mine.”

A few more erratic thrusts, then Arthur was pulling back. He gripped his cock and let his cum paint Merlin’s back, arse and thighs. The sight of it almost enough to calm the raging beast in him. Almost. “Mine. All mine.” His hand not entangled with Merlin’s own came up to smear the mess over unsoiled skin. His fingers curling over his sides and between his cheeks. 

“All yours.” Merlin sighed contentedly, hips rutting leisurely against the silk sheets. There was a smile in his voice.

The marks around his wrists and the dark bloom under his ear the next day were enough to keep most wandering eyes away. The bite marks down Merlin’s uncovered throat was enough to make Lord Aldevin look ashamed as Arthur stared him down. Though neither would admit it out loud, the possessive behavior turned them both on more than they liked to admit.  
——

Neither think about what happened the night Arthur found out about Merlin’s magic. They don’t talk about Merlin flinching away from his touch for a month after. They don’t talk about the scar down his left side, from a knife pressed too deep. They never mention the fact that Arthur never initiates the use of knives in their bedroom games anymore. 

They pretend the guilt isn’t visible on Arthur’s face every time he sees the white line. They pretend it didn’t happen, but they never forget the night Arthur blatantly ignored Merlin’s cries of ‘no’ and ‘stop’, but they never mention it. Merlin may have forgiven him eventually, but Arthur never forgave himself. They don’t talk about it, though they both know it’s always in the back of their minds. 

The only time they speak of it, is to swear these activities will never be used as punishment against Merlin again. It’s not said, but implicitly understood that there’s hurting Merlin, and _hurting_ him. 

It’s long after Merlin’s fallen asleep that Arthur vows never to cross that line again.  
——

“Don’t you think we should talk about this?” Merlin gasped, eyes fluttering closed against his wishes. His head fell back against the wall as Arthur ‘hmm’d’ from his position between his friend’s legs. His teeth scraped against the underside of Merlin’s cock at the same moment that the fingers inside him twisted painfully, and Merlin felt his toes curl. “Arthur I’m serious.” 

With an exaggerated, put upon sigh Arthur pulled off and sat back on his heels far enough to look up Merlin’s flushed body. “Look, I didn’t gag you because you said you didn’t want that tonight. Don’t make me regret it.” As if to punctuate the thought Arthur shoved his pinky in alongside his other three fingers on the next thrust in. Merlin merely groaned in response and bit his lip.

“That’s exactly why we need to talk about this!” He huffed, hands falling to bury themselves in ruffled blond hair as Arthur crooked his fingers just so. The other hand coming up to dig painfully into his hip. Arthur let out a low warning growl before he yanked Merlin to the floor by his ankle. The small yelp from the slighter man went straight to his groin. 

Crawling over the dazed servant Arthur frowned down at him contemplatively. Digging his right hand into the short dark hair at Merlin’s nape he yanked his head to the side. A low groan of appreciation slipped from him as Merlin arched up, his mouth falling open. Pressing his other hand against the soft skin right under his jaw Arthur let his expression go blank. Squeezing just enough to block most of Merlin’s air flow he muttered impassively, “Did you want me to stop?”

Merlin struggled to take a breath as he glared up at the new King. One quick jerk of his head was all he gave. Arthur continued to look down at him with that vacant stare and he could feel Merlin gulp rather than see it. A flicker of something akin to fear shone in his eyes before need overtook it. They didn’t talk about it. Merlin knew that just as well as Arthur did, and maybe it was fucked up in some way, but that’s just what they do. They don’t talk it through. 

“You see, pet, I’ve had enough of your insubordination. You made me look like a fool in Court today. You made them question my authority. ” His grip tightened and the shade of red that appeared on Merlin’s face was really too lovely. The words cut deep and he could see it on Merlin’s face. It was dangerously close to the only thing they did talk about. The hurt in his eyes was enough to make Arthur startle and loosen his grip for Merlin to take a deep breath in, “It isn’t you I’m angry at though, do not confuse my anger with them as a punishment meant for you. These… activities are never meant as a punishment for your actions, however much you may want that to be the case. Do you understand me?” 

Merlin remained silent as he frowned up at Arthur, the latter narrowed his eyes at the lack of response. He gave a low warning growl and dug his fingernails into Merlin’s neck briefly before letting go entirely. The servant whined instantly at the loss of contact. “I will not continue until I am given a verbal answer, Merlin.”

“I understand. I do, Arthur, really. You’re not punishing me, just letting out your anger. I know just please—“ 

“They think I’m soft on you. They think I’m soft on you because you can’t handle it. Because you can’t take it.” The hand was back on Merlin’s throat and the man’s eyes fluttered shut with the press. Arthur leaned over to press their cheeks together, and breathed, voice dangerously low in Merlin’s ear, “But I know you can. I know just how much you can take. I know how good you are for me, pet. How you handle all I give you so well.”

The sound of metal scraping against the stone floor was loud in the night air. Merlin’s eyes shot open and locked on Arthur’s the moment he registered what the sound was. “Arthur, no. You know that blade can cause me actual harm. We’ve been over this. The dagger will work just fine if this is what you really want.” Clear, concise, to the point. Like they’d talked about that night. A firm no that Arthur had to obey. 

The firelight reflected off the gold inlaid in Excailbur’s blade as Arthur brought it up to eye level. “Honestly, Merlin, who do you take me for? I would never do something so brash as to cause you actual harm. Not again. No,” a half lidded stare and a self indulgent grin. “I have no intention of letting the blade touch you. I have something much more… fulfilling planned for you.” The golden pommel caught the light now and Merlin’s mouth dropped, eyes growing wide. 

“Oh.” 

Oh indeed. With the blade safely tucked away in its scabbard Merlin’s body lit up the second the cool gold was brushed against his skin. Arthur grabbed Merlin’s ankle and threw it over his shoulder as he moved Excalibur’s hilt down the inside of his thigh. There was no hesitation in his movements as he pressed the pommel against him. No hesitation as he shoved forward to let it breach and sink in in one swift movement. 

Merlin wailed and his back arched, simultaneously trying to get away from the strange intrusion, and yet pull it deeper at the same time. 

This was something they’d talked about before. In the dark hours before the dawn, with Merlin warm and pliant beneath Arthur’s hands. All soft sounds of agreement as the then King regent whispered in his ear. Using Excalibur was never brought up though. “Love to see you like this.” Arthur had murmured, “All soft and open for me.” Two fingers ran through the mess leaking from Merlin’s hole. He pressed them forward, as if willing his cum to stay inside just a bit longer. 

“How much more do you think you could take?” He questioned quietly, breath catching slightly as Merlin’s body took him in effortlessly. “Could you handle something bigger? A candle perhaps? Something I can continue to fuck you with after I’ve already come inside you?” Merlin had groaned into the pillows, face flaming red at the thought. “One of Giaus’s pestles?” 

“Please don’t mention my father figure's name while inside me, okay? Thanks.” Arthur had chuckled and filed the idea away for later as he wrapped his arms around Merlin’s waist and buried his nose in his hair. 

With the cross bars pressed firmly to his arse Merlin could see the almost poetic rightness to it. The one weapon that bound them together, foraged in Merlin’s desperation to protect Arthur, the object his King chose to completely destroy him. The hilt moved the second Arthur saw Merlin’s face melt into something close to bliss. 

The pace he set was anything but soft. Pulling it out until just the top of the thick pommel rested inside him before shoving roughly back in. “Gods you’re beautiful like this, Merlin.” Arthur breathed when he ground the hilt against the others skin and twisting, knowing that the round top was digging deliciously against Merlin’s prostate. “So God damn beautiful and perfect. Come for me. I need you to come for me, Love.” The brunet came untouched the moment the last word was spoken. 

Without thinking about it he pulled Merlin’s pliant body up and shoved their mouths together. 

“We’re going to talk about this.” Merlin murmured finally, long after the sun had set and the room grew dark. Arthur had moved them both to his bed after cleaning them up. Gentle in the way he wiped Merlin off and tucked him under the blankets. He’d settled in behind him, one arm propping his top half up, the other arm draping securely around Merlin’s pale waist. 

Arthur hummed in acknowledgment but said nothing. He knew this talk was coming. The moment he threw caution to the wind and kissed him he knew. Somewhere in the last 5 years what they were doing became less and less of a stress relief and more of an innate need. He wasn’t sure when the flip happened, but somewhere along the way, the act of caring for Merlin after their encounters became just as important to Arthur as the act itself. 

The desire to put him back together, to care for him and protect him became as all consuming as the need to hurt and break him.

Of course Arthur himself knew what caused the change. In time he’d fully accepted it too. What he didn’t know was Merlin’s thoughts on it. He knew the warlock loved him. In some undeniable way, but he didn’t know if it was in the same capacity. 

“You’re over analyzing.” Came a soft whisper as Merlin turned in his grasp so they were face to face. His expression open and warm as he brought a hand up to Arthur’s cheek. “Look, do you honestly think I’d still be here, letting you hurt me, if I didn’t want to be here?” Okay so maybe he wasn’t as oblivious to Merlin’s thoughts as Arthur wanted to believe. It was easier to pretend this was just about a physical release for Merlin than to admit that maybe there was something more between them. 

It was easier and less messy and very much… a lie. They both knew it. “I know this may come as a shock to you, but I--” Merlin paused, mouth twisting into a grimace as he pulled his hand back down to wrap in Arthur’s shirt. The King pressed his own over top it and leaned forward to press his lips to Merlin’s forehead. He understood. So maybe they didn’t need to talk about it. Not really. 

“I know, Merlin.” Arthur said instead. “I know.” 

He did. Every action. Every mark he left on Merlin’s body. Every cut, every breath held back. Every unspoken conversation said the same thing. Over and over and over.

I need you. 

I trust you. 

I love you.


End file.
